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Talk about Fantine's childhood maybe? Did she make any connections or did anyone help her, even if she doesn't remember it?
@reverdies || thank you!
Ooh! I think Fantine was lucky in the regards that, while most people did not make an attempt to ouright adopt her, whether it be due to personal reasons such as lack of space or money — especially for those already in poverty — there was already a community formed amongst the poverty stricken. Those in the upper rungs of society never graced the areas of town in which Fantine ran barefoot with children in similar circumstances to her. Even if someone wealthier did come across her, Fantine was not worth their time or attention.
The poor had to be selfish to survive, no-one could blame them for that, but Fantine can remember those who gave her what they could (after their share, of course). Often, older women would take pity on the motherless child, clothing and feeding Fantine before sending her on her way. Although not educated, she could take advantage of an exploitative child labour; it was not well paid work, nor was it safe, but it allowed her a roof over her head and at least a meal whilst in various employ. Of course, as she grew older and became taller, she became unviable in that line of work, causing her to seek out other work such as farm work.
To have managed to survive infancy as she did, she must have had various people help her when they could; perhaps a woman who had lost a child and therefore cared for Fantine like her own. Honestly, Fantine can barely remember her earliest years. What she does remember is keeping those around her at an arm's length, trying to navigate the society she had been born into whilst simultaneously surviving by following unwritten rules.
In hindsight, it benefitted her that she should be a girl; most pitied her more so for nothing other than she was a young girl. Yet, there were times she wished nothing more than to be a boy— most employers preferred boys over girls, and there were times that unsavoury people would try to exploit her for more sinister purposes. However, when that happened, she would often be intercepted by an older, more streetwise woman who protected her from the consequences of exploitation. That stayed with her, most noticeably when she eventually did find herself working the streets and she made an effort to protect younger, more vulnerable girls.
#;character study#reverdies#thank you!#exploitation men#exploitation cw#child labour men#child labour cw#cw: exploitation#tw: exploitation#tw: child labour#cw: child labour
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Every day, I come across news of the terrible things men do to women, and many of these acts are sexual in nature. Sexual assault and harassment are pervasive. Recently, a man ejaculated on a girl who was shopping at a dollar store, and not shockingly, he had done this to three other women before. In New York, there's a man who punches women in the face and insults them. Reading about these acts makes me question how men have held power and control in society for so long. How is it that, for centuries, men have maintained such dominance that dismantling the patriarchy now feels like an impossible task.
In the case of the Dollar Tree incident, the perpetrator wasn’t even charged with sexual assault, even though it clearly was. Why? Because the police force, like many other sectors, is predominantly male. The justice system and government positions are overwhelmingly held by men. Even where women are present, their numbers are so low that their influence is minimal.Why does the justice system and the government fail to protect women? Where is the control, the safety, and the protection for women? How can women ever feel safe when we read about police officers who themselves commit acts of sexual violence? When men hold most positions of power, how can we expect women to be safe? How many more stories should we hear of men in power raping, sexually assaulting, and abusing women? Exploiting their power to abuse women. How many more of those stories should we hear? Until when will you keep having men in power? Until when?
#radical feminism#radblr#terfblr#feminism#men are the problem#men are dangerous#men abuse their power to exploit women#until when will women not be protected#protect women#radical feminist safe
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Good Morning!!! You better hope your manager doesn't see you right now.
#morning#good morning#good morning message#good morning image#good morning man#the good morning man#the entire morning#gif#gm#tgmm#☀️🧙🏼♂️✌🏼#the gears of capitalism are oiled with the blood of workers#gears#workers#work#capitalism#money#rich men#billionaire#billionaires#exploitation#my money#shareholders#pursuing interests#back to work#get back to work
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John doe x 1x1x1x1 is awesome 🙏🙏
#i lobe roblox#roblox#myths#roblox myths#exploiters#1x1x1x1#john doe roblox myth#john doe roblox#peak#roblox ship#exploiter x explotier#me and my boyfriend gay gay kiss kiss#me and my boyfriend are silly#so hot 🔥🔥🔥#gay yaoi#yaoi#roblox yaoi#🎀#kawaii#kawaii desu#uwu#i need to kiss him#i love yaoi#yaoi love#gay mlm#mlm#gay boyfriends#gay men#gay kiss#gay
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it's normal to be insulted by femininity as a girl or woman and it's really simple why.
the core philosophy of patriarchy is that men and women are not defined by their sex but by their sexual roles in the male sexual hierarchy (a naturalistic fallacy). the philosophy of patriarchy cannot allow for equality at any given point, because a man ceases to be a man if he is not dominant and a woman seizes to be a woman if she is not submissive. keep this in mind.
so a woman as defined by patriarchy is a complementary thing (non-human, like animals or "nature") to a man's estate. the woman identity, as construed by patriarchy, exists solely for male pleasure and estate. that means the woman is only a woman if (it/she) is an asset to a male's estate. so it/she must be a wife, a concubine, a tradeable daughter (this is opportunity for wealth), a prostitute or mother. please note, in all these roles, a woman is always meant to be subordinate or she/it is not a woman.
now remember, this is only patriarchal philosophy, but this philosophy/worldview needs to become an ideology and way of life. so patriarchs, in order to justify their made-up bullshit about the sexes and their right to exploit without consequences, must naturalize this worldview. they can create patriarchal religions (for whichever has the power over life and death defines the value and purpose of a soul) and language (whoever defines the world controls how it is perceived).
but CLOTHES are an expression of both. clothes, aside from simply being utilitarian (even in ancient times), were visual symbols denoting things like class, age, sex, nationality, and beliefs. NOW UNDERSTAND, the first class distinction in human societies was between men and women. men were higher humans hence were to be treated as a distinct upper class, and women were lower-class.
class distinction via sex was the first kind of class distinction. so it became increasingly important to the patriarchal state that women and men had to dress according to their class (the Old Testament of the Bible shows that this was indeed important to early patriarchal states in the ANE via verses like Deuteronomy 22:5 which reads, “A woman shall not wear a man’s garment, nor shall a man put on a woman’s cloak, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God.”) In short, clothes do not have sex (no garment can chan he your chromosomes), but they do have sex-class (which is gender).
in the development of patriarchy, the veil in the ancient near east, became a symbol of women's sexual status, publicly announcing them as married, concubines, virgins, etc. (i encourage you to read The Beginning of Patriarchy by Gerda Lerner for more in-depth information on all this). clothes then, and today, have always been about determining women as a sexual class and what role they performed in that sexual class (modest, up for sale, married, low-value, lesbian/deviant).
because men get to define what women are, they get to define what our clothes mean. they get to decide if something is modest or if a woman is "asking for it."
what does this have to do with femininity?
patriarchal belief= a woman is a thing, defined explicitly by her inequality to man, that exists purely for the pleasure and purpose of the man. this means a woman can only be a sexual slave (whether as a mother/wife or a whore) and cannot live or exist outside of this male-defined sexuality (temptress/justified sexualization of underage girls) without becoming something other than a woman (a monster, a witch, ungodly, mentally ill). since it was made for man, it cannot pursue interests outside of pleasing him and still be a natural, healthy thing.
enter gender.
femininity (and gender) is how women are regulated by the patriarchal state. it is a costume, a uniform, that signifies an obedient subordinate, but it is also a performance that is constantly tested and scored. women with low scores get re-educated or removed from society (via death or ostracization). femininity is how women are policed. all you have to do is to look at the traits of femininity and it's rules.
the natural female face/body should always be palatable, pleasing and presentable to the man and what he specifically finds attractive (so it doesn't matter that you're from a different culture or of a different class, if you're dressing "modestly" or "promiscuously"--this is the only primary rule: that you please men and that you are tasteful to the man who fancies you)
this means that the woman's health is secondary and her body should be editable, adaptable, picked apart and put back together on a whim, on any and every level to appeal to any man who wants her (cosmetic surgery, corsets, trends)
nurture is paramount to the character of a woman (because a woman is meant to be an excellent breeder)
softness and smallness (signals submissiveness, passiveness, defeat, weakness--all of which are proper womanly behaviour)
martyrdom (a woman exists for the preservation of the man and his estate)
silence (this communicates mental submission which is important, women should not voice their experiences, grievances, frustrations, desires, stories because she is showing agency and none of these qualities aid her identity as a sexual servant)
i want you to look at and analyze, even within your own cultures, what femininity is defined as wherever it exists, and then see if you can find any connection to how it enforces the idea of the patriarchal woman-thing. the entire performance, clothing and behaviour, is enforced in order to justify the fictional woman-thing in patriarchal imagination.
but you are a human being.
you have always been able to think, feel, disagree, feel anger . . . because you are a person with a sense of dignity, history and purpose outside male-defined sexuality. so when you as a girl or woman express disdain at femininity, it is not because you think "feminine" women are beneath you. it is because you know femininity is beneath every woman and yourself.
the capitalistically driven insecurity market that pushes women to seek out the security of male validation is beneath all of us. the performance is beneath all of us. we were human before we were mothers, wives, sex workers. we were beautiful and wonderful before makeup. we were human before men looked at us and called us fuckable. we were powerful and divine before men told us we were demonic and simply angelic, servants of gods rather than goddesses ourselves. we had the capacity to create and invent the world before men told us we didn't have heads for learning.
we have always been human and always will be.
femininity is a patriarchal polemic against our humanity. it's fundamental philosophy disagrees with the reality of us. that's why there's so much anger and fear around this culture.
some of us, as girls, resented the fact that our mothers asked us to swallow the fact that they accepted (as right) their humiliation and ours. that they wanted us to show men and boys that we accepted that we were made to be humiliated. of course we got angry. of course we felt confused. didn't our mothers, sisters, aunts, friends care that this performance was never-ending humiliation as we were forced to parade ourselves in order to compete for male approval? in front of the eyes of men and boys we knew mocked us for everything? so we said, we're not like other girls. other girls want to keep up with this. maybe they like humiliation? but we can't live this way. something must be wrong with us, or with them. they're sheep, or we're disgusting lesbians. but the truth is that we're all just in a world of pain and desperation.
your (feminine) clothes are not made with you in mind, but they are also made to keep you minding yourself. checking yourself. making sure your bra doesn't show. your underwear doesn't slip. your belly isn't too prominent. it keeps you eager to perform your role. to win against a race you can't even define because you haven't ever questioned if it ends. you get approval from the state because you are trained to self-regulate, and you have been trained well. the relief you feel at the approval of other girls or boys is that they are giving you a high score. which means you are safe. you are beautiful, you are a good performer. you will be picked and not left behind.
you may say you dress for the girls, but that's part of the problem, still. you and the girls are. you are still agreeing with the political philosophy of patriarchy when you uncritically wear the uniform of the woman-thing. you think of yourself as the woman-thing. you think of your face and body as infinitely editable. delete the breasts, delete the pores, enlarge the eyes like you're a doll on a Wii avatar creator. and so other girls are scared of being themselves because you all know there's something here to fear. there's rejection and punishment waiting for pretty ladies who don't comply.
but you're a living, complete human being, darling. you are an ecosystem with mysteries as old as the universe in you. you are a person that deserves to be here fully and freely. this is your world, too. our world.
so you see why gender cannot be reclaimed by us in a meaningful sense? it is a performance that is invented, re-invented and validated by the philosophy of our dehumanization. it will never be independent of it in this system.
you are worth the freedom and strength you can give yourself. you are worth the fight out of this.
#anti-femininity#femininity#anti gender#gender abolitionist#radblr#and this is not to say being “nurturing” is wrong#you can be kind and warm to your friends and loved ones#but nurturing is not the default character/expression of a woman and should not be her default response to strangers/men#women are exploited and regulated by patriarchy through femininity#anti femininity#gender critical#gender
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For the kiss prompts, Dreamling and joy, happiness, or adrenaline?
@just-j-really said : I meant joy, /habit/ or adrenaline lol. Should've just used the numbers.
How about I give you joy AND adrenaline? I can't get Olympics AUs out of my skull so here it comes! This is 100% inspired by Manon Apithy-Brunet's victory and what came afterwards! Also Death is called Thana in this, cause I couldn't have her go around named Death, so Thana, because Thanatos and all that
"And we're back with James Anderson at the Grand Palais, where the men's foil final is about to begin."
"Indeed, Anne. Team GB's chance to snatch the first gold medal of its history in men's foil fencing! The stakes are high at the Grand Palais tonight, but Team GB can count on Morpheus Endless after the stellar performances he gave us earlier today."
"It's going to be one for the ages!"
"It sure is!"
**
11-13
Hob had lost any semblance of control over his nerves ten touches ago, his legs bouncing up and down relentlessly while his eyes burnt holes into the piste below. Two touches. Two touches to strike gold. He could do it. He was so close.
The South Korean fencer on the other side of the piste wouldn't go without a fight, though. Morpheus was faster, but his opponent was taller, more imposing, covering more ground. Every touch scored was given right back, filling the Grand Palais with the deafening roar of the audience. It is too loud, Hob kept telling himself. He hates it when it's loud. It was everything, the lights, the sounds, the screams... God the overstimulation going on under that mask, he could not even fathom.
Morpheus lunged forward, aiming at the South Korean's flank. Hob felt his breath catch in his throat.
12-13
The room exploded again, members of the audience standing up, waving flags and signs. Hob buried his head in his head.
"God, I can't even watch."
"He's going to be alright," Thana told him, her hand braced against his knee.
Before Hob could look up, cheers erupted again, louder still. Thana's fingers tensed around his knee.
"Fuck! Who scored?"
"He's almost there! He's going to make it! Hob, he's going to make it!"
12-14
One more. One more to the title of Olympic fucking Champion. Hob hadn't even noticed he'd stood from his seat, his heart beating in his ears. He could not even hear the crowd. All he could focus on were the lights. Red or green. Red. It had to be red. Please let it be red. The South Korean came at Morpheus, lunging forward. Morpheus parried, lunged, fleche at the ready.
The red light blinked, sending the Grand Palais into a frenzy. It happened all so quickly, Morpheus yanking off his mask, his face glowing both with pride and relief, erupting in a disbelieving chuckle as the audience chanted his name, Thana's arms squeezing Hob tight, her voice saying words he could not make out under the uproar surrounding them. He did it! He fucking did it!
He didn't know at what point his entire body had decided to move, but Hob found himself rushing down the stairs leading to the pistes. Security met him at the bottom, preventing him from going any further.
"I'm his husband!" he kept saying, oblivious to the fact he and the man standing in his way probably didn't speak the same language. "I'm his husband! I'm―"
In a desperate attempt at communication, he waved his athlete badge under the man's nose. That seemed to do the trick, as the security guard stepped aside, leaving Hob free range to run up to the piste.
His chest could have burst from pride seeing Morpheus there, victorious, facing the crowd, sweat dripping from his brow, years of effort and sacrifice leading him to that very moment. Morpheus Endless, gold medalist, Olympic Champion.
As their eyes met, something in Morpheus seemed to give, all the pressure escaping his body as he fell to his knees, letting go of his foil to wrap his arms around Hob, the strength in them gone as the crowd and cameras, everything other than them, vanished.
"You did it," Hob took his face in his hands, ecstatic. "You did it, duck! You did it!"
Morpheus could barely speak, going from uncontrollable laughter to choked sobs. He pressed his forehead to Hob's before kissing him hard, salt, exhaustion and gold in his tongue. Hob leant into him, his hand combing the back of his hair, bringing them closer. The cameras probably got an eyeful, but who cared. Gold medalist was a once every four years kind of title.
And he couldn't wait for Morpheus to kiss him in front of the whole world again in 2028.
Send me a kissing prompt?
#the sandman#sandman#dreamling#sandman fics#dream x hob#dream / hob#imma exploit my knoweldge in ONE SPORT to the max#also team GB truly doesn't have a gold medal in men's foil go figure#the love between Manon Apithy Brunet and Boladé Apithy HAUNTS ME this moment HAUNTS ME#just!!!! Hob being so happy for him!#Morpheus allowing himself to let go in public!!!!#my writing#fencer dream would be SO serious#would probably bow to the audience
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we need more feminist horror
#there is so much potential there#rambling#the beauty industry… anti ageing… dieting….#female gender roles as a demon haunting you…#the prison of femininity…#menstruation pregnancy abortion as body horror#subversing horror tropes of female exploitation and male violence…#men as monsters… the patriarchy as a haunted house… competition between women as curse…#or just female slashers and serial killers who are not sexy for the female gaze#liberal feminism encouraging ‚sex work‘ as a cult#as some sort of commentary#WITCHES… the last girl becoming ‚evil‘ but what really is evil…#intergenerational female trauma…#male religion > occult horror#zombie as symbolism of trauma…#MOTHER DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIPS
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Showing concern for an exploited woman is not homophobia"
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The woman has three kids and a mother that needs her? Surrogate mothers face an increased risk of pregnancy complications. If something were to happen to her that would leave 3 kids and her sick mother without her.
#Reddit#Aita#anti surrogacy#surrogacy exploits women#babies are not commodities#Just adopt#Men are not entitled to biological offspring#The brother may be a dick but at least the father gets it#Why would the brother want his kid to start off in conditions that he wouldn't want shared with others?#Men wanting kids without doing what is best for them
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so uh. how are we feeling about the three hour torture porn game ft the creator’s foot fetish gang……..
#class of 09#the flipside#like what happened to the whole rejection sim fuck men thing#can’t wait to watch a girl get exploited and abused by literally all the men around her…. and then saying one line about hating men………..#feminism amirite……….
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Total Drama Future AU design number 8!
Alejandro is 39 in this AU.
After All Stars, he took some time to improve his mental health and rekindle his relationship with Cody. Little did he know that Cody had been hopelessly pining for him, and he couldn't deny that he liked that funny little guy as well.
After 1 year and 3 months of dating, Cody proposed to him at the Café they had both grown to love.
It was nice to have someone who loved and appreciated him for more than his body.
With the help of Alejandro's mother, they had a lovely wedding and invited both the Gen 1 and 2 casts as guests (Minus Chris and Chef).
For their honeymoon, they went around the world and revisited all the destinations from World Tour. (Minus the island from the finale).
On December 26th, 2013, at 4:49am, they welcomed Axel Burromuerto-Anderson into their lives.
Alejandro runs his own Pub in Toronto, he's very fond of his work.
Alejandro never thought this is where he would end up in life, but he's quite pleased he got this far.
#Alejandro is wearing shapewear under his clothes in the image above (Thanks to the influence of his father and the paparazzi)#I'll post a reference for his body without the shapewear later#Alejandro is intersex#cody is his biggest supporter#I am pushing my “Axel is the alecody child” propaganda#Alejandro and his not-cis dad swag#now we know where axel got her hair genes from#and her taste in men#alejandro's parents are divorced#total drama#td alejandro#td cody#alecody#td alecody#The Aftershow AU#total drama au#total drama headcanons#total drama hcs#my art#Alejandro refused to get a job in any industry that would exploit him for his good looks after Total Drama#Axel the late christmas gift#td axel
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youtube
Not only do men lack the basic empathy not to exploit women for their own sexual entertainment, but they also have the NERVE to come online and brag about it. Calling marginalized women “wild animals”? Making jokes about the fact that she was eastern European- and therefore likely trafficked into this? Absolutely callous and cruel.
And yet, he receives virtually no backlash. In fact, most of the comments are calling him "precious" because he claims to have 'fallen in love' -with a woman he knew all of 20 minutes, objectified, made fun of, and barely spoke to- or "hilarious" for his sexist little jokes.
We truly are in hell!
#radical feminism#feminsim#men dni#4b movement#anti pornography#anti abuse#anti exploitation#anti sex industry#anti sex work#anti prostitution#Youtube
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Ok give me your favorite (or one of your favs) iwtv character, one of worst things they've ever done, and your best PR statement defending them!👀
oh god this is so scary. defending these chars will get u killed on twitter. promise to not hurt me
anyway my favorite character is louis and i guess the worst thing hes done is either being a pimp or terrorizing the gay san francisco population.
your honor if i may, louis had to take care of his family and being a pimp was the most reliable means available for his circumstances!!! plus he did his best to elevate their qualities of life alongside him as he went up the social ladder!
and uh. the san francisco thing. well your honor he was coping badly about the loss of claudia and was using these men as a means to self medicate (by giving them drugs which he'd take back into himself when draining them) he was on a bender he simply didn't mean it 🥺 if he tried to do this anywhere else he probably would've been killed it was a matter of safety 🥺🥺🥺
#kaienkommunications#interview with the vampire#i do mean the thing about him and his girls genuinely it's something ive been ruminating on a while#ppl kinda just take him being a pimp at face value but i do believe louis tried to be a “lesser evil” in that regard#which obviously isn't an excuse......but his relationship with exploiting women and sex work isn't as simple as “louis hates women”#but the sanfran thing is a more of a joke. KIND Of#But if you told me that louis infiltrating a place of safety during a time of crisis being the hiv/aids epidemic and using that as an excus#to pick off gay men in the community without much suspicion is extremely diabolical i wouldn't disagree with you#Would the tragedy of his actions seem less evil if it was more indiscriminate?#ahem#Anyway sorry i do in fact have Thoughts on the show i don't express much
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“Topless house cleaner” is such a fucking disgusting concept and it’s also unsurprising to me that it exists. I saw a tiktok just now of a girl—she appeared to be in her 20s—saying she was a nurse and did the topless house cleaning on the side but wanted to make it her full time job and it irritated me so bad. You think this is a long term career? You think men are gonna want you to clean their homes naked when your skin isn’t 25 year old skin anymore? When your boobs sag? When you gain weight? Please. Look away, I’m gonna say something unfeminist. Women like that repulse be. I judge and I sneer.
#and don’t get me STARTED on the comments that are like ‘we live a girl who’s exploiting men’s weaknesses for buck’#dude. the men aren’t being exploited. the men gave capital to buy women to perform for them. YOU are being exploited
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A woman wanted to have a relationship with the child she gave birth to. And the men's response "was to insist that their son had no mother — only a surrogate — and that the child’s identity was as part of a motherless family." But the kid was created from her egg. She is the kids biological mother.
5 June, 2024 By Julie Bindel
This article is taken from the June 2024 issue of The Critic. To get the full magazine why not subscribe? Right now we’re offering five issues for just £10.
There is a contradiction at the heart of the international surrogacy industry. Its participants pretend that surrogates’ feelings for the children in their wombs do not exist, whilst simultaneously trying to prevent them acting on those feelings. Many commissioning parents broker the babies in jurisdictions that allow restrictions on surrogates’ rights.
In the UK, this contradiction was recently laid bare in a Family Court case (citation number: [2024] EWFC 20). A gay male couple were engaged in a long-running legal battle with their son’s surrogate. Rather than vanish after handing over the child, she wanted a role in the boy’s life. The men’s response was to insist that their son had no mother — only a surrogate — and that the child’s identity was as part of a motherless family. There was “no vacancy” for her to occupy in his life, they claimed, and it was prejudicial to gay families to suggest otherwise.
At the start of this story, G, the surrogate in question, was a 36-year-old single mother of a teenager and naive about what surrogacy entailed. The commissioning parents were friends of her sister but not people she knew. Aged 43 and 36 and married, they were members of an agency, Surrogacy UK, and very familiar with its protocols — which included a “getting to know you” period — and support. However rather than go through the agency, the men chose to fast-track the process with an independent arrangement with G.
Following a failed transfer of a donor egg, the trio decided to use G’s own egg. The men agreed that G would have contact with the child, but none of the parties properly considered the implications. The relationship between the three deteriorated during G’s pregnancy. G gave birth to a boy in September 2020.
After the birth, G would not initially consent to the parental order, under which she would lose parental responsibility as she feared being cut out of the child’s life. But during a lengthy online hearing in which she was alone and unrepresented — unlike the men — G was pressured by the judge to agree to the parental order along with a contact agreement called a child arrangements order.
After obtaining parental responsibility, the men quickly reneged on the agreement. When G turned up at their house for a pre-arranged visit they threatened to call the police. She recorded the meeting. The Family Court judge later declared of the recording “what was said has rightly been described as ‘horrendous’”. The men told G she was “harbouring a desire to have an inappropriate relationship” by wanting the boy to recognise her as his mother and accused her of having “rejected the role of surrogate”.
In January 2022, the men refused to allow G to visit her son and applied for the contact agreement to be changed. G then made her own application for the parental order to be overturned. She won her case in November the same year. This restored her parental responsibility for the child and removed it from the man who was not the child’s biological father.
The men redoubled their efforts to remove G as a parent, this time applying for an adoption order. During court proceedings, they claimed their son’s identity was that of a child of same-sex parents being raised within the LGBT community and that he belonged to a “motherless family”.
As a lesbian who came out in the 1970s, I’m only too aware of the history of demonisation of lesbian and gay couples. Parents who conceived children in heterosexual relationships were often denied custody and contact if they came out as gay after separation. Foster and adoption agencies were openly prejudiced. But times have changed, and same-sex parents are now a common sight at the school gates in some parts of the UK.
Claims that the children of same-sex parents are disadvantaged in some way have largely been defeated with an expanding body of evidence (e.g. Zhang Y, Huang H, Wang M, et al., BMJ Global Health, 2023) showing their outcomes are similar to those of heterosexual families. Gay rights are robustly supported in most public institutions and private organisations. For a gay couple to call on historic prejudice to justify excluding a mother from a child’s life is unforgivable.
In any case, the men’s argument was fatally — and obviously — undermined by its own logic. If the boy did not have a mother, there would be no need for the court case.
As the jointly-instructed clinical psychologist in the case recognised, the driver of the men’s case was the “elephant in the room” — G’s existence as the child’s legal and biological mother — and the men’s fear of her maternal bond with her son. The men had difficulties “accepting the reality” of the child’s conception, the psychologist found, and considering what sense the boy might make of the situation as he grew up.
“They have strongly held to the surrogacy agreement and the narrative of [G] being a ‘surrogate’ because in that narrative there are no, or hardly any feelings from the surrogate for the baby,” the psychologist wrote. He described the men as attempting an “erasure of the mother”, which he said was not in the child’s best interest as it did not reflect reality.
Refusing an adoption order that would likely have resulted in cutting G from her son’s life, the court ruled that G should have direct and unsupervised contact with him. The judge criticised the men for blaming G for everything that went wrong. The judgment also raised questions about how an adoption order would be explained to the boy, given it would have been made without his mother’s consent.
To some extent, history repeated itself in this case. There are multiple examples of legal battles involving lesbian couples who created a child with the help of a sperm donor who later inconveniently insisted on contact or on playing the role of father.
As the Court of Appeal ruled in one such case in 2012: “What the adults look forward to before undertaking the hazards of conception, birth and the first experience of parenting may prove to be illusion or fantasy. [The couple] may have had the desire to create a two-parent lesbian nuclear family completely intact and free from fracture resulting from contact with the third parent. But such desires may be essentially selfish and may later insufficiently weigh the welfare and developing rights of the child that they have created.”
What’s concerning in this case is the language used — the “erasure” of the mother
Contested surrogacy cases are little different from these wrangles and, indeed, from any other contact disputes. What’s concerning about G’s case, and what makes it different from the case of the lesbian parents above, is the language used. The psychologist explicitly referred to the men’s attempted “erasure” of the mother. They simply refused to acknowledge G’s existence in any of the forms in which she fulfilled a maternal capacity: legal, genetic and as the person who gave birth. They were supported in this illusion by the professionals who weighed in on their behalf.
In the space of a few years the term “motherless” has moved from an emotive description of absence to a positive identity argued for in court. This shift is entirely consistent with the narrative that surrogacy participants feed to the public.
When celebrity couples introduce their surrogate children on social media, the women who gave birth to them are rarely mentioned. The new babies are “welcomed” as if they have been sent by special delivery. That is in line with the attitude of the international surrogacy industry, which reduces the role of the birth mother to that of a “carrier” or rented womb.
For commissioning parents, it must be very easy to regard the woman who bore their child for nine months as a mere service provider, someone to be gratefully forgotten as soon as the final instalment is paid and the product handed over.
Meanwhile, parts of the NHS are determined to de-gender childbirth, routinely referring to “birthing parents” rather than mothers. As an example (there are multiple) the Royal United Hospital Bath’s “information for families” on labour induction refers to dads, but there is no mention of mothers — only birthing parents.
Feminists have long campaigned for gender-neutral language to reflect roles that are indeed, or can be, gender-neutral. But the uncoupling of sex from the necessarily female processes of pregnancy and childbirth is a step towards a dystopian future. In 2015 Victoria Smith wrote, “Gender-neutral language around reproduction creates the illusion of dismantling a hierarchy — when what you really end up doing is ignoring it.” I would go further. Gender-neutral language around reproduction — just like any language that obscures reality — reinforces and helps establish hierarchies of oppression.
To the men, G was simply a surrogate womb to a motherless child. But to G and to Z, she was his mother. As the psychologist said, “‘Motherlessness’ does not exist. The child was born from two people, biologically, and from three people, psychologically … The mother certainly played a part, biologically and psychologically, in the conception of the child.”
The case — unremarked and unnoticed by the media — will do nothing to change popular opinion of surrogacy. It is likely to encourage intending parents to explore dubious overseas jurisdictions, where surrogates have fewer rights. The surrogacy profiteers will continue to cheerlead wealthy couples in their exploitation of impoverished and naive women.
As for the word “motherless”: in time it may lose its negative connotations and become solidified as an identity. Will it become a badge that straight children can use to signal their connection to LGBTQ+ community? Or an oppression card that can be deployed by the children of wealthy men to explain bad behaviour towards women? Either way, Disney and Dickens are going to need a lot of rewriting.
#Restrictions on surrogates' rights#UK#Erasing mothers#Two men can't have a baby by themselves#The men decided to fast track the surrogacy process by going outside of an agency#The kid has her DNA#Men trying to create a motherless family by ignoring the birth mother#Men exploiting a woman and then crying homophobia when she fights to see her child#Anti surrogacy#Babies are not commodities#Surrogacy exploits women#Men trying to impose a motherless identity on their children#Purchasing fathers in denial that their kid also has the DNA from their genetic mother
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Hiiiii! I was the one who asked about Henry and I want to say I LOVED the analysis. Also the mention of Eileen also made me thing how her and Henry's interactions show despite not knowing each other to well, you really sense their bond and care for one another. Also how Eileen is just such a KIND character to others even causing Young Walter to prevent his older self from killing her.
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I’MMMMM so unwell about henry and eileen, especially with them together…!! even before they directly interact, it’s fascinating how they take notice of each other (eileen being one of the few people who remembers henry in passing + picks up on how he’s been missing for awhile, while henry sees her through the peephole and hole that reaches her apartment, both of which are when he's trying to make contact with the outside world), and in spite of contrasts on the surface like how outgoing they are, they both share the same core traits of humanity and altruism caring for others <:’’’)
i love how they get along very well and work together to understand the situation and figure out how to deal with it, especially given how they're now "properly" meeting and getting to know each other for the first time;; they're very cautious yet sweet with each other, and i also really appreciate how you note eileen's kind like henry too! henry generally keeps to himself offering help if/when the situation arises to jump to, while eileen's less reticent personality has her more outgoing and dedicated to going out of her way to express and continue providing sympathy, i think.
with her trying to understand the mystery, she expresses sympathy for young walter wanting to essentially give him peace and put him at rest even in spite of learning the truth of who he is, and she's gone out of her way to be kind like to giving a doll when she was young,, which has also ironically doomed her in the start, giving it to walter led to him latching onto her and exploit that kindness now intending to make her the mother reborn. both henry and eileen's kindness more often than not get them hurt and have their efforts unappreciated,, and yet they still persist.
they're both so lucky to have each other's backs in sh4 as they survive and can thrive together, henry and eileen compliment and support each other so well...!! there's so much i could keep talking about w them (either individually or together) but yeah, they're both so caring and it really shows with how secure they feel and gel with each other, the bond is so strong and easy to root for and wish the best for them
#ask#silent hill#silent hill 4#henry townshend#eileen galvin#it's 3 am at the time i'm queuing this so there may be some wonky stuff here or there... regardless overall hope this is still coherent#took me awhile to ruminate over and try to Really condense the most topical things i wanted to point out; ty for the patience!#there's lots of parallels to dig into!! both walter and henry are isolated men with good intentions and goals to 'help' someone else#but very different ways of going about it: henry's a protective person who assists others no matter what (eg helping cynthia#though he didn't really seem to want the 'special favor'; he still helps people regardless if he'd get something out of it for himself)#while walter's actions harm and exploit others for his own personal motives/goals specifically to get his mom back
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